Sunday, July 9, 2017

Woman in Love - My Journey Begins

Katie Hartfiel is the author of the book Woman In Love. She relates her story in this book about how she prayed for her husband-to-be since she was 17 yrs. old. 

I just bought the ebook from kindle and will be reading it later. I read the first chapter which she gave for free after I signed up to her email list at womaninlove.org. I love the foreword by Steve Bollman. I highlighted most of his sentences lolz. One of the part I love most was when he said:

This new reality could have turned this young girl into another statistic: broken home, troubled youth, unwanted pregnancy, illegitimate child or a broken home in the next generation.
Fortunately, Katie forgot to read the storyline. Her life travels a different path. She anchors her hope in a merciful God who loves her. She trusts that God will fulfill her dreams, the dreams of a future husband and the family life they will share together.
I love that part because it means she didn't give up hope even when her own family was broken, she didn't stop dreaming that God will give her the husband of her dreams and that they will have a great family life together. This strenghtened my resolve to save myself for marriage.

 

I am not alone :)

I'm reminded that I'm not alone when I read this article from Kate Bryan - she wrote this in september 2016 - she is a 32 year old virgin - I'm a few years older, but I am also in my 30s and a virgin... I have to relate my so-called love life, the "almosts", the boys who came and went, maybe in another post, suffice it to say that I think God had given me the grace of not having any boyfriend at all, maybe because He knows I can't handle the hurt I guess, coz I can really become obsessed with a boy when I have a crush on him. Maybe now that's going to change, when I pray for my future husband and become a changed person in the process, I won't obssessed but I'm going to be productive with my life but still keep him in mind and pray for him and myself.

Another woman that wrote an article on being a virgin is Mandy, this is a link to the lifesitenews article on her. This is the quote I love from her:
“I’m a virgin because I am a passionate proponent of keeping the sanctity, beauty and value in sex”
My bestfriend since high school, when we come upon the topic of sex, she thought that I think sex is bad lolz, I told her I don't think sex is bad, I think it's sacred. They don't understand the view of the Church about sex, well, I haven't even read the Theology of the Body by Saint Pope John Paul II, (but I will someday), so I don't expect them to read it too and understand the view of the Pope.

Anyways, just as what Mandy said, I too want to keep the sanctity, beauty and value in sex and not just use it for my own pleasure.

Reason for Writing about this topic:

So, I am writing this partly because I am doing what Gary Vaynerchuk said, to document what's going on in my life, what's important to me, instead of fronting. And partly because I want to share this with my fellow Catholic Singles, especially those in their 30s, to not lose hope and don't let go of what God said in Jeremiah 29:11
For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.
Katie is my role model now, because she didn't give up hope, she believed in God and He fulfilled her dreams. I had my moments of weakness, well, only in my thoughts, I thought maybe I should do what most of my social circle did, they already had sex and I also don't want any what ifs when I have my own boyfriend. But, there was a tweet from Jason Evert about an article on Sick of Singleness, which lead me to read the Woman in Love ebook and led me to decide to really wait for my future husband and the dream of sharing that life together.

This is a very personal post and I have fears of publishing this, but as Ambrose Redmoon said (got this from the woman in love ebook):
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear"
So, even if I'm so scared of putting myself out there, what's more important for me is that maybe someone somewhere out here in the internet, a woman is also struggling with her decisions to keep holding on to the dream. I want to tell her, you are not alone. I, for one, is also dreaming and holding on to God's promise. I believe WE CAN DO IT.

Of course, this dream is not only for virgins. 

Those who had sex already, you don't need to sell yourself short, you can still dream of a future husband that will cherish you for who you are and help you to be holy and lead your family to Heaven. I think you don't need to settle because you are at that age where you should be married already and have a family. I would rather wait for the future husband of my dreams than settle for someone who is here, but doesn't have the qualities of a good husband.

For me, one of the things I look for now in a guy is that he loves Jesus, first and foremost. Here in the Philippines, even in a predominantly Catholic country, you will not see guys talking about Jesus, unless they're in a church group or something. I can now see some of my relatives who are going to read this post and think "she can wait 'till she's in her 50's, we'll see then if she's going to be this confident". I don't want to give a deadline to God, I believe in his perfect timing. If my future husband comes to me in my 40's or 50's, fine by me. I'm weird like that. :)

I remember one of my aunts tell me, why did you just not join a convent? I told her, it's not for me, I don't have a very obedient attitude lolz. I have a problem with following authorities. I might just become a rebel and last for only one day in the convent lolz. That's why when I follow God, that's saying a lot, coz I don't really follow an authority, but I follow God because I know He is real and everything He said in the Bible is true. I will follow God in my own way.

Even though I have never had a boyfriend, I still believe marriage is my vocation and that God will give me a husband worth waiting for. :)

What I did yesterday:

I made a live video yesterday and I didn't know it was already 12 minutes long lolz. I was just reading the paragraphs I like on the womaninlove ebook and sharing a little of my thoughts on it. This is the video. Skip to 20 seconds, that's when I started talking.

Yesterday was the start of a new thing for me. I fully believed that God will give me a great husband and so I followed the instructions of Katie in the ebook and started praying for him. Then I wrote the letter on a notebook. When I wrote that letter, I felt more at peace and the longing for a boyfriend, that I really feel inside, subsided a little, I mean, I still feel a little incomplete, but I can feel more relaxed now and happy, knowing that I'm doing something to help my future husband in his own life's journey.

Now, that I addressed that longing in my heart, I can focus more on my goals, and what I want to achieve in my life while I still have this freedom of time in my hands.

I will be going for my goals, and live a happy life, while waiting for that future husband. Actually, I didn't call him Husband-to-be, I started my letter with "Dear FH" which means Future Husband. It just feels more comfortable for me. Maybe I will change it later, maybe not.

Now, I can really say, I am joyfully waiting. :)

I will be posting more of my thoughts on the ebook in the coming weeks. 

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